Yeah, me too. But don’t beat yourself up too much about it. According to Portland author and my new favorite non-conformist Chris Gillebeau, it’s a human condition. Boy, does he have my number in this post. I have spent so much time delaying making big decisions to help me to achieve what I want in life, I prefer not to think about it. I’ve been working lately on not beating myself up, and this exact subject is sure fodder for such activities, so this post did trigger me a bit. Witnesseth the cause of my discomfort:
Compare yourself to others. Instead of thinking about how everyone’s situation is contextual and unique, look at people who are more successful than you and fall into despair over why you haven’t achieved as much as them. Alternatively, look at people who are less successful than you, and console yourself that at least you’re further along than them. As a bonus, choose to apply other people’s definitions of success instead of thinking about your own.
*Gulp* OK… You mean… comparing myself to other people in order to illustrate my own failure isn’t how I reach my dreams? Damn. Ain’t that a bitch. What else can you tell me about myself, brother Chris?
Ask everyone for advice. No need to think for yourself; ask everyone else to do it for you. For best results, signal your hesitation about the decision to the people of whom you ask advice. This way, they’ll tell you what you want to hear: take your time, there’s no hurry. You’ll be happiest if you receive conflicting advice from your advisers, because you’ll then feel more comfortable about waiting it out.
Damn… I always feel so productive when I’m asking people for advice. And on top of that, I’m often defensive against the advice they give! Are you telling me that’s not a recipe for success?
I admit, I’m being a little over the top here to illustrate a long-running internal dialogue. I’m grateful to Chris for such a nice summation of this behavior we’ve all indulged in to some degree or another. We’re all human and can all use a gentle kick in the ass from time to time. Click here to read the entire post here, and get ready to cringe as you see yourself therein. Then, get off yer ass and go do something to change it!